Resignation stories

Tale One

Me to boss: Erm, I want to resign.
Boss: (giggles loudly and alarmingly girlishly)
Me: Erm, I'm serious.
Boss: Okay...(clears throat, adjusts ponytail, tries to make voice masculine again) Why?
Me: I'm ill and I need a break.
Boss: Bored, huh?
Me: Very
Boss: Okay.

Tale Two

Me to male colleague who walks and behaves like a crotchety old spinster aunt: I have resigned!
MC (hahahaha!): Oh. When's your last day?
Me: July...
MC: That means I need to take leave before that. Damn. And ... is still away. He won't be back until ... and ... also wants leave. Bloody fucking nonsense.

Tale Three

Me to male colleague who has his nose permanently up the boss' arse: I resigned!
MC2: Oh. When's your last day?
Me: July...
MC: That means I need to take leave before that. Damn. And ... is still away. He won't be back until ... and ... also wants leave. Bloody fucking nonsense.

(clearly my co-workers love and cherish me and are heartbroken at my sudden, life-altering decision)